Poetry Podcast #15 – Why gratitude doesn’t seem to work for you.

When Gratitude Doesn't Work

 

I’m a big fan of gratitude.

I’m a big fan of appreciating what we’ve got going for us.

I love the taking-it-all-in, really-feeling-it, expansive, abundant, hugging-the-world-grateful kind of gratitude.

But.

Here’s the thing with gratitude – it’s has been cited so often as a (proven) way of generating more happiness + abundance in our lives, that sometimes we tend to use it as a quick access pass to happy.

Which – of course – doesn’t work.

Instead, we find ourselves intellectually going through the motions of listing 5 things we should be happy for, without actually feeling it.

I wrote a poem to reflect my slightly contrarian view on gratitudeyou can find the complete poem over on PositivelyPositive!   #sogratefulforthat!

 

We wanna be grateful

because we read everywhere

that being grateful

is what it takes

to be happy.

 

We name 5 things

each day

we feel

we should be

grateful for.

 

The career, the money,

the house, the car,

there’s so much

we’ve got going

for us.

 

But as we go through

the motions

of …  read the rest of the poem over on PositivelyPositive!

 
 

+++ Does this sound familiar?  What’s your experience with gratitude?  Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from here.

Sunday Snippets #31 – Things I love.

Sunday Snippets 31

 

:  Letting go requires courage.

:  This spicy cauliflower soup looks so good.  As does this new avocado toast.

:  This is one of the most inspiring interviews I’ve heard in the past weeks. And the book’s waiting on my Kindle to be savored.

:  Love this from Tara Sophia – helping an employee (or anyone really) overcome their self-doubt.

:  This is the kind of dinner party I’d love to be invited to.

:  What a great story this is – generously accepting a gift, is such a great gift too.

:  Love Flora’s new website. And love this Studio Diary.  (The painting above is hers!)

 

+++ Loved these links? One that jumped out? Something that suddenly hit you? Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from Flora Bowley, Painting Solstice (2014) - find it right here.

Sunday Snippets #30 – Things I love.

Sunday Snippets 30

 

:  Got this one on repeat all day long.

:  Love this reminder to tell people what you wanna do, not what you did. Because when you are too embarrassed or cautious to say what you want, you make it impossible for others to help you.

:  Started following this Instagram feed. And this one.

:  Check out these 9 qualities of confident people.

:  This is the kind of book club I’d love to be invited to.

:  These pumpkin pancakes look so good. And this avocado sandwich has me drooling (though I’d leave out the fennel.)

:  Love this take on creativity and how intertwined everything we do actually is.

 
 

+++ Loved these links? One that jumped out? Something that suddenly hit you? Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from The Crunchy Radish, right here.

Poetry Podcast #14 – It’s a shame.

It's a Shame

 

Sometimes we’re ashamed of our dreams.

Because they seem so out-of-character and silly.

 

Sometimes we’re ashamed of our strengths.

Because we believe they’re weaknesses.

 

Sometimes we’re ashamed of something we genuinely love.

Because we seem to be the only ones.

 

Sometimes we’re ashamed of not liking something.

Because we believe we should.

 

Sometimes we’re ashamed of who we are.

Because it’s so out of sync with who we think we’re supposed to be.

 

Sometimes we’re ashamed of who we are.

Because we’ve come to believe we should be more like them.

 

And so we hide our dreams from ourselves and the world.

We hide our strengths from ourselves and the world.

 

We hide ourselves from ourselves and the world.

And that’s such a shame.

 

 

+++ Does this sound familiar?  Are you holding back because you’re secretly ashamed of your dreams, strengths, talents?  Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from here.

Sunday Snippets #29 – Things I love.

Sunday Snippets 29

 

:  If she can’t make you fall in love with doing yoga, then no-one else can.

:  This one‘s waiting for me on my Kindle. Buying was a no brainer after savoring her previous book.

:  Downloaded this Think Dirty app.

:  Love how light and bright this Brooklyn home is.

:  Oh, how I would love to take a painting class here someday!

:  Jana has written this great article on how multitasking does not work.

:  How yum-looking + irresistible are these almond butter cups?!

 

+++ Loved these links? One that jumped out? Something that suddenly hit you? Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from Britt Bass, here.

ChangeMatters #9 – I’m ashamed of the change I’m longing for.

Ashamed Of The Change You're Longing For

 

Reason #9:  I’m ashamed of the change I’m longing for.

 

Sometimes we have this idea, this dream, that passion, that thing we can’t stop thinking about.

But we seem to be the only ones excited about that thing.

And that idea of ours seems so out-of-character with who we always thought we were.

And that’s enough to make us feel wrong, as if us being the only ones being into something, by definition means that there must be something wrong with us.

We feel ashamed about the new venture we want to embark upon.

We keep it our big secret, creating that whole rich inner world in our minds, oscillating between excitement (this would be so amazing!) and defeat (we’re never gonna make this happen!).

Going back and forth between that deep longing for change and not wanting anything to change or anyone to know.

Finding ourselves paralyzed by fears, worries and doubts.

But how can we change when we don’t want anyone to know?

How can we create something fresh and new, when we don’t want the change to show?

And also – is there really something to be ashamed about?

When we are caught up in our little world as we know it, so often we don’t realize that there’s a whole world out there, full of people doing what we believe to be stupid or silly.

I remember being ashamed of wanting to take photography classes, doing yoga, making green smoothies, being a coach and mentor.

Yet, there’s plenty of people doing exactly those things, and thriving.

Looking back on it now, it seems so ridiculous that I (secretly) felt ashamed about doing these things.

But that’s how our mind works – making up those “you’re gonna fail, you’re gonna lose everything you worked so hard for, people will stop liking you + you’re gonna end up alone” fears, doubts and worries.

Trying to make us stick to the path we believe we should be taking.

Trying to make us stick to the person we believe we’re supposed to be.

Trying to make us stick to the picture-perfect life we had envisaged for ourselves, even though it doesn’t feel so picture-perfect on the inside.

Never allowing the possibility that the path we’re on might not be the right one for us.

Never allowing the possibility that we’ve ignored the things that really make our heart sing + soul soar.

Never allowing the possibility that following our joy might lead us to more joy + fulfillment than we ever could have thought possible.

What are you (secretly) dreaming about?  And (secretly) ashamed of?

Do a little Google exploration. I bet that there’s a whole new world opening up that you not even knew existed. Use their example as a source of inspiration, as a glimpse of what’s possible, and as powerful proof that there’s nothing wrong with that dream of yours (or with you, for that matter).

And allow yourself to take a little bite of that dream of yours. You’ll thank yourself later. Trust me.

 

(Pssst:  I also wrote this poetic musing on this very same topic.)

 

 

+++ Does this sound familiar?  What’s stopping you from going for that “crazy” dream + making the change you really wanna make?  Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from here.

ChangeMatters #8 – This is just a crazy dream. And a waste of time.

A Crazy Dream

 

Last week, I talked about our fear of being judged as one of the reasons why we give up on our dreams.

If you haven’t read it, you can check it out here.

Now… chances are that you are also judging yourself, kinda like this…

 

Reason #8:  This is stupid! Silly! Crazy! Irresponsible! A waste of time!

 

But…

wouldn’t it be stupid to limit your happy + joy to those rare stolen moments when you (guiltily) do the things that really light you up?

wouldn’t it be silly to not give it a go?

wouldn’t it be crazy to postpone a life that fulfills you till after you’ve done all the shoulds, supposed tos + have tos?

wouldn’t it be a waste of time to spend your days on things that drain you?

wouldn’t it be irresponsible to go through the motions of the life you think you’re supposed to live?

wouldn’t it be irresponsible to ignore the life you’re longing for?

wouldn’t it be irresponsible to not share your strengths, talents, ideas, creativity, resourcefulness, laughter, joy with the world?

wouldn’t it be irresponsible to not do yourself that favor?

wouldn’t it be irresponsible to support everyone else to make their dream life happen + shelve your own?

And wouldn’t it be sad to have to look back on your life,
wishing you’d have done things differently?

 

And no, that doesn’t mean that you have to turn your life upside down overnight. You can take it one small step at a time.

Actually, what small thing could you do today? 

 

 

+++ Does this sound familiar?  What’s stopping you from going for that “crazy” dream + making the change you really wanna make?  Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from here.

Sunday Snippets #28 – Things I love.

Sunday Snippets 28

 

:  “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”  Here’s 24 other lessons to live a simpler life from Marc and Angel.

:  Michele on reconnecting with her big why.

:  Started reading this one after being bombarded with rave reviews all over the interwebs. Let the decluttering begin!

:  “Sometimes we need a vessel in which to put all of our over-purchased fruit, and that vessel is the crumble.” Yessss!  And this one does look so good!

:  “No is just a useful data point, which adds to the learning experience.” Jana explores the joy of rejection.

:  Bought a couple of these because I felt the urge to play.  Let the experimenting begin!

:  40 over 40.

 

 

+++ Loved these links? One that jumped out? Something that suddenly hit you? Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from here.

ChangeMatters #7 – They will judge me.

They'll Judge Me

 

Reason #7:  They will judge + disapprove + laugh at me behind my back.

 

Chances are they won’t.

Because they might cheer you on, encourage + support you. Even when they might not really understand why this dream is so important to you.

And wouldn’t it be a pity then,
that you’d give up on your dream,
trying to avoid disapproval
that doesn’t even come?

 

But of course, chances are some will.

Because they got different views, different preferences, different expectations, different opinions, different experiences, different styles, different ideas of what the world (and your life) should look like.

It doesn’t mean your dream is stupid.

It doesn’t mean you are crazy.

It just means that you are not them. And they are not you.

But wouldn’t it be a pity then,
that you’d give up on your dream,
because a few people
have a different view than you do?

 

And of course, it’s impossible for anyone to be liked by everyone.

It’s not possible, not helpful, and not desirable to try to win everyone over.

Haters will hate.

And people who want to criticize will always find a reason to do so, no matter what you do or don’t do. There will always be something that’s not good enough, or too polished, not fast enough, or too fast, not loud enough, or too intense, not clear enough, or too outspoken.

You can’t be everything to everyone.

You’ll only lose yourself in the process.

You’ll morph into some manufactured version of yourself, constantly afraid of losing their approval.

You’ll be in a constant state of confusion + feeling as if you’re falling short no matter what you do.

You’ll be unfulfilled + unhappy, even though you’re working hard to do the right thing.

But wouldn’t it a pity then,
that you’d give up on your dream + your happiness,
knowing that the haters will hate if you do your dream,
and hate if you don’t?

 

 

 

+++ Does this sound familiar?  What’s stopping you from making the change you really wanna make?  Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from here.

Sunday Snippets #27 – Things I love.

Sunday Snippets 27

 

:  This podcast convinced me to buy a snake plant for my bedroom. Plus, there’s so many great tips in there to sleep smarter, you really should give it a listen.

:  Never had this peach-tomato combo – definitely a must-try.

:  “I’m not an expert, but…” and other ways women undermine themselves with words.  #sobusted!

:  Loved this movie. Definitely makes me want to reconnect with nature more. And also, my Fitbit would be really happy to get a bit more steps a day.

:  She had me at mojito.

:  Loved this conversation with Cheryl Strayed – felt as if we were all sitting in Cheryl’s living room and chatting over some good coffee. Those kind of interviews are the best.

:  Someday I’m gonna make my own paint splashed T-shirts. :)

 

 

+++ Loved these links? One that jumped out? Something that suddenly hit you? Let me know and drop me a note right here. I love to hear what you think + read every message with pure delight. I truly do. +++

Photo from here.

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